


affection, affliction

by MollyRenata



Series: the sun, the moon, the fool and the lovers [4]
Category: Persona 4
Genre: Angst, Moving On, Multi, Pining, Unrequited Love, he's a sad bi disaster, rated for some mild language oops, yosuke stays in the closet this time whoops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-03
Updated: 2020-10-03
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:07:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26791876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MollyRenata/pseuds/MollyRenata
Summary: Sometimes, to love is to accept the hand that fate has dealt you... even if it's a really awful hand.
Relationships: Minazuki Sho/Narukami Yu/Kujikawa Rise, one-sided Hanamura Yosuke/Narukami Yu
Series: the sun, the moon, the fool and the lovers [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1937416
Kudos: 8





	affection, affliction

**Author's Note:**

> Whoops, I accidentally a Yosuke angst. This takes place in the same timeline as "break out of your head", after chapter 23. (I have not decided yet if Yosuke will get a happy ending in this setting.)

* * *

This was the second time that Yosuke had fallen in love, and the second time that it had been _fruitless._

He had mostly moved on from Saki, but the echoes of her Shadow's words still haunted him sometimes. There were nights where he couldn't sleep due to the memory, the trauma from facing his own Shadow firm in his mind; those were the nights that he called his best friend for comfort, and his timing was less than opportune on occasion, but Yu always _listened,_ always reassured him that it _wasn't_ his fault for feeling that way.

This led to... something that Yosuke had tried to deny for over a year, the target of his affection shifting from Saki to Yu. He tried desperately to convince himself that he was _straight,_ to the point of flat-out denial - and yet in the end, when that redheaded punk came back to Inaba two months after his attempt to destroy the world, Yosuke was forced to face himself yet again.

He watched as, within the span of just a few _days,_ Yu realized that he had a _deeper_ connection with Sho. The two made their involvement known while Sho was still recovering from the wounds he'd suffered during his initial fight with Yu, and the spark of envy that Yosuke had felt then was too powerful for even _him_ to deny - and he spent that night wondering if he should enter the TV world, to see if his Persona had become his Shadow once again.

He wasn't stupid enough to do that _alone,_ of course, but the thought was tempting. He'd stared at the television in his room for well over an hour, waiting for the Midnight Channel to come on, thinking that maybe he'd see his _own_ face on it this time. Despite the rain, it had been silent, and Yosuke almost wished that it _hadn't._

He spent the rest of Sho's stay in Inaba pining silently from the sidelines. It was strange that Rise seemed okay with a poly arrangement, clingy as she was toward Yu - Yosuke had assumed that Rise would want her favorite _senpai_ all to herself, as she had shown jealousy in the past when Yu paid attention to other girls, but apparently that wasn't the case after all. It was _different_ if the target of Yu's affection was _another boy,_ supposedly, and that scar-faced bastard was _male_ enough to fit the bill.

It all just made Yosuke wonder why Yu had chosen _Sho,_ of _all_ people, over _him._ Yosuke had been Yu's closest friend for far longer than either of them even _knew_ Sho, and yet...

Not even a month had passed since Sho's departure from Inaba. Yu had started making plans to return to his home in the city, and he'd mentioned more than once that he was looking forward to seeing Rise more often; every time he said that, it just fueled the spark of Yosuke's envy all over again. Coming to terms with his own gay feelings had been hard enough, but now Yosuke received regular reminders that he wasn't _in_ \- he hadn't been invited into the poly arrangement, and yet Minazuki, the stone-cold _psychopath_ that served as Sho's _other half,_ had. Sure, it made logical sense to invite another guy in when that guy shared a body with someone who was already involved, but it didn't sting any less.

Yu had asked if it would be okay to meet up with Yosuke during his lunch break, and Yosuke, being the dolt he was, had said yes. A small fragment of him hoped that this meeting had a deeper meaning - it was _clearly_ just a meeting between friends. Yu and Yosuke were still _friends,_ in spite of this new conundrum.

Yeah, just friends and _nothing more._ Yosuke had every reason to believe that he had been put _squarely_ in the friend zone, even after he and Yu had both discovered their attraction to the same sex, and yet for some reason beyond his understanding, he anticipated his best friend's arrival at the food court. The conflict in his brain kept looping upon itself, until-

"Hey."

Yu, unflappable as always, made his presence known, and Yosuke watched him as he approached their chosen table. Yosuke wasn't really that hungry, his anxiety having killed his appetite, and he knew on a _logical_ level that he should eat something, but the thought just didn't appeal to him right now.

"You aren't getting anything?" Yu raised an eyebrow as he pointed out the obvious fact, sliding into the seat opposite Yosuke. "Isn't it your lunch break?"

Yosuke gave a halfhearted shrug. "I dunno... my stomach's been bothering me all day. Maybe I shouldn't have come in."

"You shouldered through it regardless," Yu observed, and a proud smile crossed his face. "Just be sure to take some medicine next time, alright?"

It wasn't _that_ kind of stomach upset, but Yosuke wasn't about to mention that fact. He forced himself to smile back, even as his mind drifted to the day Rise had announced to the entire food court that Yu and Sho were dating - as if it had never been a big deal to her.

"I'll be fine," Yosuke lied, and he was sure that his friend didn't buy it _one bit._ "...Maybe I'll call in after this. I'm sure my dad will understand."

That wasn't actually a given, of course. Yosuke's father had reprimanded him for minor infractions before, and he had no reason to believe this would be any different... even if his stomach did legitimately hurt. The problem was that he recognized the reason for that ache - that reason sat _right in front of him,_ after all - and lovesickness just wouldn't fly as an excuse.

"Just don't push yourself." Yu's expression turned serious. "If you aren't feeling well, you should try to rest. I don't want to end up worrying myself sick when I get back home."

That was a pretty rich thing for him to say right now. Yosuke breathed a sigh, leaning his elbows on the table as he supported his head with his hands.

"...Worrying yourself sick, huh?" Yosuke repeated that bit, his mind once again flickering back to the day of Rise's announcement. "That reminds me... how are things going with Sho?"

"He's doing alright so far," Yu answered, without even the slightest hesitation. "He's having some trouble staying in touch because he can't keep his phone charged... I'm worried about how he'll handle things once winter comes."

Sho had chosen to follow the lone-wolf path, staying away from populated areas and camping out in the wilderness as much as he could. Yosuke knew this because Yu had expressed the same concern before - already _worried sick_ over his boyfriend.

"I hope he's smart enough to get a real room by then," Yosuke muttered, more than a little resentful. "It's not like he can't afford it... and he didn't seem to have any trouble spending his life savings at the Amagi Inn."

Yu nodded once, humming his agreement - at the part about Sho getting a real room, of course. "...He's pretty stubborn. I just hope he has the common sense to..."

He trailed off for some reason, and Yosuke tilted his head at the sudden change in Yu's tone. Another bout of concern, maybe? It made sense, given the topic of conversation - and Yu was right on one account. Sho's stubbornness was _almost_ respectable.

"I'm sure he'll be fine." Yosuke shifted so that he could dismissively wave a hand, then went right back to resting his head in his hands. "He's so hot-blooded, it'll probably keep him warm, even if he _does_ keep camping out." He breathed a long sigh. "...That guy's _such_ a weirdo... I just don't _get_ him."

"Yosuke..." Yu's quiet tone indicated that he'd had some sort of thought, though as always, his expression revealed precious little. "...I'm sorry."

Speaking of weirdos, there was one sitting right there. Yosuke breathed another sigh, closing his eyes as his mind drifted yet again - what in the world was Yu _apologizing_ for?

"...No wonder you two fell for each other." Yosuke had to admit that the thought was almost _amusing._ "Birds of a feather flock together, huh...?"

"I guess so..." There was a hint of humor in Yu's tone; apparently, he'd _also_ found it funny. "You're right, though. Sho's strong... he's survived until this point, and I'm sure he can keep going."

Well, there was no denying _that_ fact. After everything he'd been through, Sho refused to let it keep him down, and he'd even made up his mind to go after the dark side of the Kirijo Group - an undertaking no _sane_ man would pursue, as despite the reform Mitsuru brought, the odds were that those dark elements were still widespread across the country. With how deep the organization's corruption ran, Yosuke was sure that Sho had a _lot_ of work ahead of him, if he even survived.

Maybe if the bastard died, Yosuke could- _no,_ that was a _terrible_ thought. Yu would be _devastated_ if that happened, and the only thing worse than unrequited love was seeing the target of that love heartbroken. Despite his own feelings, deep down, Yosuke _wanted_ his best friend to be happy.

"...Yeah, I'm sure Minazuki'll keep him safe." Yosuke hated speaking the name of Sho's dark half - it just brought back unwanted memories of the time that he'd almost died at Minazuki's hands. "He's always fought to protect Sho, right? And he's _insanely_ strong... I mean, Sho's no slouch himself, but _Minazuki..._ "

Yu gave a rather unexpected laugh, and when Yosuke opened his eyes, he saw the clear hope on his friend's face. That looked like _absolute trust_ \- Yu had used the same expression with Yosuke a number of times before, even recently, and it made his heart flutter despite himself.

"Yeah... Minazuki promised that he'd protect Sho, like he always has." A subtle yet bright smile drew across Yu's lips. "I know they can pull this off if they work together. Sho isn't alone anymore..."

As always, Yu was great at laying out the truth. Yosuke hadn't wanted to believe it at first, but it was impossible to deny that Sho had _changed_ \- he was no longer obsessed with solitude, for one, and the malice he'd shown on that awful night had all but vanished. The proof of Sho's acceptance of bonds was his relationship with Yu and Rise, and he had even demonstrated an interest in befriending the rest of the team.

Yosuke was certain that he wouldn't ever _like_ Sho, but for his best friend's sake, he would _accept_ him... even if it only fueled the heartache.

"Then, we'd better start making plans for when he comes back." Yosuke wasn't normally this idealistic, but in this case, he had every reason to believe that the day would come - he supposed that this was his own trust in Sho. "I may not like him, but I can't just turn down a party!"

Yu's smile broadened at that, and Yosuke wanted nothing more than to see that smile again and _again._ Even if the Investigation Team's leader directed his deepest affections only toward Sho and Rise, that still meant he had people he _loved_ \- people he could _share_ that deep affection with.

In the end, even if his feelings remained unrequited, Yosuke wanted nothing more than to see Yu _happy._ If that was his lot in life, he'd accept it without complaint... well, with a _little_ bit of complaining, but nothing worse than usual. After all, one thing Yosuke knew for certain was that Yu wouldn't want him to dwell on his feelings - he hadn't with Saki, either.

Even if things stayed the same, Yosuke was sure that, with time, he would be able to move on all over again, as long as Sho kept himself alive and Yu kept wearing that bright smile.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> You can't really call a character your favorite until you've tormented them relentlessly. I love Yosuke, and it hurts to make him hurt like this, but I see it as proof of my love for him.
> 
> I'll try to be nicer to him in the future!


End file.
